It started here…
It started here…
I always wondered why my first “real” relationship didn’t work out.
Let’s call him B for the sake of this blog.
I was about 22 years old, working at Patrón Tequila as a Sales Manager in Maryland. I thought I was all that and a bag of chips. I was surpassing goal after goal and had wrapped my identity around my role as a manager. It was my first big-girl job out of college and I was thriving.
When I met B, he was a little dorky, 32 years old, and had a vision for his future. He wanted to own his first physical therapy clinic, but not just any clinic. One for athletes only. At the time, nobody was doing what he wanted to do.
He started posting clips of his work on social media, and they slowly began catching on. He was on his phone nearly 24/7, talking about finding the right audience and the right clients for his practice. He was getting clients off of his posts on instagram. Opened his first clinic.
Meanwhile, I was living an ambitious life and didn't see what was right in front of me.
I wanted more. More for our future.
More?
Yes.
Can you believe it?
This man was going to give me everything. In many ways, he already was. We traveled around the country together for vacations and for his work. He gave me a promise ring. We talked about marriage, lived together, kids.
Yet I was never content with what I had right in front of me.
Looking back now, I sometimes wonder what could have been. But more importantly, I see clearly what was.
My younger self wasn't ready for commitment. I was addicted to growth, chasing the next best thing. I wasn't fully aware of who I truly was, what I wanted, or what actually mattered to me.
That relationship taught me gratitude.
It taught me how to be present.
Contentment.
Stability.
I don't regret my time with him or the decisions I made.
In fact, this is where 29A began.
I learned, at a very young age, how valuable it is to listen to a man's perspective. To take his guidance. I also learned that I had a natural ability to build a man up without even realizing I was doing it.
I constantly challenged him with questions. I kept his mind active. I pushed him to think bigger and further into the future.
At the time, I didn't fully understand what I was contributing.
Over the course of our four years together, he grew from owning one clinic to two. He built an Instagram following of over 100,000 people and became the physical therapist for the Baltimore Ravens and the Washington Nationals.
He loved me.
He thanked me for supporting him, encouraging him, listening to him.
Every single day, he tried to make me happy.
And I ended it...
In hopes of finding something better.
Crazy, right?
Ten years later, he owns five clinics, has over 500,000 Instagram followers - where many of his clients now come from AND is happily married….
(Yes... of course I did my research.)
I don't share this with regret.
I share it with understanding.
It taught me what some men truly value and what they're actually looking for.
Stability.
Loyalty.
Someone who understands them.
Someone who brings peace instead of chaos.
Someone who supports who they're becoming.
For a man to fully embody his potential, there has to be a quiet confidence about him.
Some people say confidence can't be taught.
I disagree.
I think it can.
Quite frankly, I've seen it be taught.
I've taught it myself, time and time again.
The birth of 29A.
Let’s call him B for the sake of this blog.
I was about 22 years old, working at Patrón Tequila as a sales manager. I thought I was the sh<3. I was surpassing goal after goal and had wrapped my identity around being successful. My first big girl job out of college.
When I met B, he was 32 years old, and had a vision for his future. He wanted to own his first physical therapy clinic, but not just any clinic. One for athletes only. At the time, nobody was doing what he wanted to do.
He started posting clips of his work on social media. They slowly started catching on. He was on his phone nearly 24/7 talking about finding the right audience, the right clients, and how he was going to build this practice.
Meanwhile, I was living my chaotic ambitious life and didn't see what was right in front of me.
I wanted more.
More?
Yes.
Can you believe it?
This man was going to give me everything. In many ways, he already was. We traveled around the country together for vacations and for his work. He gave me a promise ring. We talked about marriage.
Yet I was never content with what I had right in front of me.
Looking back, I don't wonder if he was enough.
I wonder why I couldn't recognize what I already had.
The answer wasn't him.
It was me.
I wasn't ready.
Not because I didn't love him, but because I hadn't figured out who I was yet. I was chasing the next accomplishment, the next experience, the next version of myself. Commitment felt like standing still, and I confused stability with settling.
It would take me years to realize they aren't the same thing.
What fascinates me most when I look back isn't where he is today.
It's what I was unknowingly contributing while I was standing beside him.
I wasn't running his business.
I wasn't treating his patients.
I wasn't building his dream for him.
But every day, I was asking questions. Challenging his thinking. Listening to his ideas. Encouraging him when he doubted himself. Giving him a place to process everything he was trying to build.
At the time, I didn't think that was valuable.
I thought I was just being a girlfriend.
Four years later, he owned two clinics, had over 100,000 followers on Instagram, and had become the physical therapist for the Baltimore Ravens and the Washington Nationals.
He thanked me often.
Not for building his success.
But for believing in him.
For encouraging him.
For listening.
For supporting him.
I ended the relationship hoping to find something better.
Crazy, right?
Ten years later, he owns five clinics, has over 500,000 Instagram followers, and is happily married… yes, I did my research.
I don't tell this story because I regret my decision.
I tell it because it took me almost a decade to understand what I had actually been bringing to people's lives all along.
That relationship showed me something I couldn't see at 22.
Some of the most successful people in the world aren't looking for someone to rescue them or tell them what to do.
They're looking for someone who helps them think more clearly.
Someone who asks the question everyone else overlooks.
Someone who challenges them without competing with them.
Someone who creates enough trust that they can think out loud without being judged.
I've realized that's something I've naturally done my entire life.
Not just with him.
With friends.
With colleagues.
With entrepreneurs.
With clients.
Looking back, I don't see that relationship as the one that got away.
I see it as the first time I unknowingly stepped into the role I was created to do.
In many ways...
That was the beginning of 29A.
What do you help men?
It started here…
I always wondered why my first “real” relationship didn’t work out.
Let’s call him B for the sake of this blog.
I was about 22 years old, working at Patrón Tequila as a Sales Manager in Maryland. I thought I was all that and a bag of chips. I was surpassing goal after goal and had wrapped my identity around my role as a manager. It was my first big-girl job out of college and I was thriving.
When I met B, he was a little dorky, 32 years old, and had a vision for his future. He wanted to own his first physical therapy clinic, but not just any clinic. One for athletes only. At the time, nobody was doing what he wanted to do.
He started posting clips of his work on social media, and they slowly began catching on. He was on his phone nearly 24/7, talking about finding the right audience and the right clients for his practice. He was getting clients off of his posts on instagram. Opened his first clinic.
Meanwhile, I was living an ambitious life and didn't see what was right in front of me.
I wanted more. More for our future.
More?
Yes.
Can you believe it?
This man was going to give me everything. In many ways, he already was. We traveled around the country together for vacations and for his work. He gave me a promise ring. We talked about marriage, lived together, kids.
Yet I was never content with what I had right in front of me.
Looking back now, I sometimes wonder what could have been. But more importantly, I see clearly what was.
My younger self wasn't ready for commitment. I was addicted to growth, chasing the next best thing. I wasn't fully aware of who I truly was, what I wanted, or what actually mattered to me.
That relationship taught me gratitude.
It taught me how to be present.
Contentment.
Stability.
I don't regret my time with him or the decisions I made.
In fact, this is where 29A began.
I learned, at a very young age, how valuable it is to listen to a man's perspective. To take his guidance. I also learned that I had a natural ability to build a man up without even realizing I was doing it.
I constantly challenged him with questions. I kept his mind active. I pushed him to think bigger and further into the future.
At the time, I didn't fully understand what I was contributing.
Over the course of our four years together, he grew from owning one clinic to two. He built an Instagram following of over 100,000 people and became the physical therapist for the Baltimore Ravens and the Washington Nationals.
He loved me.
He thanked me for supporting him, encouraging him, listening to him.
Every single day, he tried to make me happy.
And I ended it...
In hopes of finding something better.
Crazy, right?
Ten years later, he owns five clinics, has over 500,000 Instagram followers - where many of his clients now come from AND is happily married….
(Yes... of course I did my research.)
I don't share this with regret.
I share it with understanding.
It taught me what some men truly value and what they're actually looking for.
Stability.
Loyalty.
Someone who understands them.
Someone who brings peace instead of chaos.
Someone who supports who they're becoming.
For a man to fully embody his potential, there has to be a quiet confidence about him.
Some people say confidence can't be taught.
I disagree.
I think it can.
Quite frankly, I've seen it be taught.
I've taught it myself, time and time again.
It's a fair question.
There are already tons of coaches teaching men how to sharpen their mindset and win at life. Most of them are men speaking to other men.
I don’t believe single men need more information. I believe they could benefit from a women’s perspective. Someone who helps them see the blind spots that are affecting their relationships.
I'm also not blind to the role us women have played in today's dating culture. We've contributed to the disconnect too. Let' chat about it.